Kenny Everett Stars in 'Kenny Everett's Christmas Carol'

Kenny Everett (born Maurice Cole) by 1985 was one of the biggest draws in TV comedy, loved for such characters as greasy rocker Sid Snot, hopeless punk throwback Gizzard Puke and, most famously of all, the titillating gymnastics of every spoonerists favourite actress Cupid Stunt.  This year saw a star-laden yuletide special broadcast on Christmas Eve, just before the film 'Grease' if my sources are to be believed, with a host of comedy pals both old and new.  You probably never thought you'd see Michael Barrymore share a bill with Peter Cook and Spike Milligan but it happened.

Everett, in less than convincing prosthetics, plays Scrooge for laughs, gleefully poking fun (literally) at a younger-looking John Humphrys and taking pot shots at a band of Christmas carollers led by Sir Bob Geldof (played by a very young Rory Bremner) in full-on, pushy Live Aid mode before turning his miserly attention to poor clerk Bob Cratchit who, if he wasn't already downtrodden enough has to face the further ignominy of being played by B. A. Robertson.

The story remains surprisingly close to the original text, despite all the pratfalls and some frankly ridiculous performances.  Spike Milligan proves a worthy Marley, Willie Rushton was perhaps born to play Christmas Present and Peter Cook, in his E.L. Wisty alter ego, plays a wonderfully deadpan Christmas Future - tradition broken, as it should be in this case, to allow the spirit to talk to Scrooge.  With further guest appearances by Anneka Rice, James Hunt and Tessa Sanderson, this is what Christmas television specials used to be all about  While French and Saunders may have thought the inclusion of Lulu and Jeanette Krankie in unlikely remakes of bland Hollywood fare was the first word in comedy, here was a show that would actually keep you awake after three helpings of Turkey and a vat of mulled wine.

Kenny Everett's Christmas Carol is available through a number of Torrent sites.  It is well worth tracking down.

Sid James Stars in 'Carry On Christmas 1969'

1969 was a vintage year for the Carry On franchise.  Well, 'Carry On Camping' became the UK's highest grossing film of the year even if 'Carry On Again Doctor' prove to be one sequel too far.  Some of the gang's biggest names celebrated with a made-for-TV special that saw leather-faced favourite Sid James don the nightcap for a turn as Ebeezer Scrooge, essentially a conduit between three loose Victorian / Christmas based sketches.

After a short introduction including Bernad Bresslaw's gentle giant Bob Cratchit mistakenly receiving long-johns as "something to warm the family this Christmas" after an impassioned speech to his creator, Sid's Scrooge takes to bed, only to be visited by Charles Hawtrey's Ghost of Christmas Past.  Severe script licence allows the Ghost to transport Sid back one whole year to a spurious sketch involving Dr Frank N. Stein, the punchline to which is basically that his monster falls in love with him.

Billed as 'Special Guest Star', Frankie Howerd steals the show of 'Christmas Present' after a brief introduction by Barbara Windsor's Ghost.  Riffing with the audience as usual, he breathes real life into an over-amourous poet Robert Browing, keen to have it away with a light-headed Hattie Jacques right under the nose of her over-protective father Terry Scott.  Yes, I know, a strange premise - but one that generates plenty of laughs.

Finally, most of the cast reconvene in pantoville for Cinderella as you've never seen it before introduced by Bernard Bresslaw's "groovy" Ghost of Christmas Future.  I guess nobody had the heart to tell them that even by the late sixties that was no longer a look of the present, let alone the future.  Barbara Windsor plays Cinderella, mistreated by her ugly sisters Terry Scott and a particularly putrid Peter Butterworth, but with a good friend in Charles Hawtrey's Buttons who seems to have turned up to the wrong panto.  Frankie Howerd returns as The Fairy Godmother (see what they've done there?) and once again the scene finishes with big laughs about unrequited homosexual attraction.  Well, it was 1969.

Certainly not a vintage portrayal of the trials of Ebeneezer Scrooge, Carry On's tribute to 'A Christmas Carol' is very thin on the ground and not to be recommeneded to Dickens fans.  Fans of double entendre, slapstick and politically incorrect humour should lap it up though.  Thankfully I am one and I do.

Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87Ps6FTMzdA 
Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3x1apK2eNA 
Part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEWGaRey_pE 
Part 4: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iuJGQYrv2BE 
Part 5: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTpdiAWjiD8 
Part 6: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h2r4HItU6BU

Michael J Fox Stars in 'A Keaton Christmas Carol'

Short of stature and fresh of face, Michael J Fox, despite being in his twenties, played awkward teenager Alex P Keaton for seven years in eighties US sitcom 'Family Ties'.  Although I don't recall the show ever being shown on terrestrial UK television, it became famous through word of mouth as Fox's springboard to success before the world knew him as Marty McFly.

This 1983 Christmas special opens with the entire Keaton family excitedly preparing for another Christmas, that is apart from Alex who complains strongly about the seasonal weather and what he believes are the false sentiments of the holiday.  Shortly before heading to bed he declares he does not wish to nip out to pick up cough medicine for his younger sister, exchange gifts this year or, heaven forbid, take up his usual place in the Keaton family Christmas photo.

Having sent a quite clearly false band of carol singers packing, Alex settles down to bed with a 'Bah, Humbug!'  Before he can close his eyes, however, he is visited by his little sister Jennifer, posing as the Ghost of Christmas Past. She whisks him clean away -- downstairs -- to the year 1973 to see a little boy, Alex himself, who really knew the true meaning of Christmas.  Here it is disclosed that Alex himself began the tradition for the corny tree-hanging family photograph among other acts of seasonal goodwill that had, until now, seemed anathema to his older self.

Returning to the present, his other sister Mallory is waiting as the Ghost of Christmas Future.  This time a trip to 2013 sees the Keaton family destitute (although strangely still living in the same impressive house) and having to make ends meet by washing the neighbourhood laundry and selling dirt from a wheelbarrow.  Having become a barbaric, bald bigshot in New York, Alex visits the family fleetingly - taking the time to register his disgust and drop off a bundle of laundry.  Meanwhile the teenage Alex completes his rehabilitation, pleading with his future self to show some compassion.

The next morning Alex nips out to the 7-11 (the only store open in town) and picks up the closest thing he can get to the biggest goose in the butcher's window - a coffee, beef jerky, a TV guide, as much cough medicine as his poorly younger sister can drink and a set of clothes cleaned and pressed each.  It's all very mushy, all quite sentimental and it really does make you yearn for this era of sitcoms.  One almost expects the continuancy announcer to say "Stay Tuned for a Perfect Strangers Christmas Special coming next."

Good old AnnieQC74 has uploaded the full episode to Youtube, so check it out below.

Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHf14ZX1DIQ (starts around 1m 30s)
Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNqKjR2Qb6o
Part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cN-KRi81iWU

Chic Murray Stars In 'A Clydeside Carol'

Chic Murray was a legend of Scottish comedy.  That seems strange when the average Scot today would be able to relate entire sketches from the mildly-amusing show 'Chewing the Fat' yet not a single one of Chic's one-liners.  What's also strange is that 'A Clydeside Carol' features little to smile about in what can only be described as decidedly black comedy if it is to be described at all.

Murray plays Willie 'Smellie' Broon, a perpetually drunk tramp and former Shipyard worker while Jeff Rawle (with a dodgy Glasgow accent he just gets away with) plays Plywood his friend, allowed out of "the home" for a day and with only one wish - that to spend Christmas with his old friend at the community centre.  Various jobbing actors queue up to show Smellie the evils of his ways over the course of the programme, culminating in a happy, yet not particularly satisfying ending.

Oscar the Grouch Stars in 'A Sesame Street Christmas Carol'

Another long-running television show finally succumbed to the inevitable Christmas Carol episode in 2006 which, given that was thirty seven years into its run, is either commendable or just plain daft - after all, they've had a ready-made Scrooge in Oscar the Grouch for years.

This forty five minute show actually borrows little from Dickens.  Determined to sleep through Christmas, Oscar takes to his trash can on Christmas Eve, places a sign stating he should not be disturbed outside and settles down to sleep after remonstrating with narrator Tim Curry to keep his voice down.  However, only moments later he is awoken by a visit from local mail monster Joe Marley who has three ghostly items of post, each containing a ghostly surprise.

The first, a Victorian can of beans from London is haunted by the ghost of Rhubarb the Grouch who, despite sounding more like he comes from Birmingham, joins Oscar to criticise, badmouth and generally ridicule two classic shorts from Sesame Street past.  In this section we are given a touching version of O.Henry's 'The Gift of the Magi' from Bert and Ernie who, as the story dictates, sell their prized possessions to furnish each other with the best present they can think of.  The day is saved when kindly, old Mr Hooper, who some may remember ran the Sesame Street store in the 1970s, calls round with a couple of extra special presents for the loveable duo.

The section is completed with Big Bird singing a very early version of Mariah Carey's 'All I Want For Christmas Is You' (no, not really) down the phone to his good friend Snuffie who, as usual, has gone to spend the festive season with his mother in Cincinatti.  The dancing included is pretty nifty for a bloke in such a big suit, but that bird could use some singing lessons.

The second visitor, the shrill Christmas Carol, visits next, covering Oscar's dank abode with fanciful decoration and unwanted cheer.  Once again this ghost is used as a means to introduce various films, this time all set in the present.  The inexplicably popular Elmo pays a visit to Father Christmas before realising that the notion of celebrating Christmas every day of the year may cause it to lose its sparkle (yeah Roy Wood, did you ever think of that?).  Later, all of Sesame Street get together to sing in various registers a fairly uninspiring piece but not before the show's cultural diversity alarm rings and we drop in on a family so Jewish they'd make David Baddiel's foreskin grow back for Hanukkah.  Lots of candles, lots of dancing basically.  Next we visit an African-American family for their celebration of Kwanzaa, a "holiday" I'd never heard of until now.  Lots of candles, lots of dancing again - still, it beats getting smashed on sherry and watching the Queen's speech I'm sure.

Finally, with no sign of redemption in sight, an utterly pointless robot ghost of the future appears and introduces a crude animation about "holidays (note, not Christmas) in the future".  It looks like it was made in 1942 and quite probably was, which means the amazing self-decorating trees they talk of probably should be with us by now.

The show ends with Oscar waking up on Christmas Day and being given some nice, sticky, used wrapping paper by Marley.  So touched is he, he repays the monster with the smelliest sneaker he can rustle up from the bottom of his trash can.  Finally Oscar has found one element of Christmas that makes him truly happy, just in time for a new festive melody version of the theme tune over the credits.

There are no clips on Youtube of this show, so here are the whole gang singing a reggae tribute to Ernie's favourite rubber duck.

George C Scott Stars in the 1984 'TV' Version

This version, although rarely shown on television any more, has stood for twenty five years as a favourite of the genre with many rating it as their favourite. While many bemoaned the casting of the American Scott in the title role, few can argue with his performance. Rather than labour the tired caricature and the overstated "Bah! Humbug!" lines, Scott plays Scrooge as crotchety, hard, serious and lonely but not necessarily "evil". As the character demands, he excels in business but not the business of mankind. Moreover, the tone of his "Mr Cratchit!" has yet to be beaten!

The supporting cast are equally impressive with dear, departed Edward Woodward playing the Ghost of Christmas Present perfectly - distributing the milk of human kindness to those deserving and mocking Scrooge with harsh but fair glee. Special mentions must also go out to Roger Rees, hitherto only seen by me as the Sheriff of Rottingham in Mel Brooks' ridiculous 'Robin Hood : Men in Tights' and Brian Pettifer, better known to Scottish audiences as Andra in Rab C Nesbitt.

You can pick this up for a fiver at Play.com - a shrewd bargain that Scrooge himself would approve of.

Here's a sneak preview where Scott's Scrooge teaches David Warner's Bob Cratchit a lesson in duds.